Friday, July 20, 2012

A Southern Belle Primer: Blast from My Past

I found A Southern Belle Primer: Or Why Princess Margaret Will Never Be A Kappa Kappa Gamma while I was cleaning some stuff out the other day and it made me giggle. I always had this on my table in college, mostly because I was a Kappa, but also because it's a great reminder of ways of the old world. Half the stuff in it doesn't apply to me (half Asian!? Not Southern.) but it still has some pretty hilarious/true advice in it. To wit,

A Southern Belle's Ten Golden Rules:

1. Never serve pink lemonade at your Junior League committee meetings. It has Communist overtones.


{get the recipe here for Rosemary Lemonade}

2. Always wear white when you walk down the aisle (even if it's for the third time.)

3. Never wear white shoes before Easter or after Labor Day. The only exception, of course, is if you're a bride. Bridesmaids, however, must never wear white shoes. Bridesmaids' shoes should match the punch. {Ed Note: Let's all agree to never wear white shoes. Ever.}

4. It doesn't matter if you marry a man who doesn't know the difference between a shrimp fork and a pickle fork; you can always teach him. Just make sure he can afford to buy you both.

Deviled Eggs Revisited-Southern Deviled Eggs & Wasabi Deviled Eggs

The ubiquitous deviled egg - always served in a deviled egg plate, natch. This one here's Yankee

5. Never date your sorority sister's ex-husband until at least three years after the divorce. You might need her to write your daughter a Kappa Kappa Gamma recommendation one day. Just remember it's a lot easier to find a new man than it is to get your daughter into Kappa.

6. Never marry a man whose mother and grandmother owned silver plate instead of real silver. He's not used to quality and he'll try to cheat you on the divorce settlement.

7. It's never too soon to write a thank you note. Some belles take their notes and a pen with them to go to a party. In the middle of the evening they go into the ladies' room and write a thank you describing how much they enjoyed the dinner (naming specific items). They then put the note in the mailbox as they leave. The hostess receives it first thing in the morning. Sure this is compulsive, but you're going to have to be compulsive if you want to be the president of the Junior League.

{$24 for six, Sugar Paper Los Angeles}

8. Never show you bosom before evening and never wear an ankle bracelet before anything. Girls who wear ankle bracelets usually end up twirling batons. There has never been a baton twirler who became Miss America and there's certainly never been a baton twirler in the Junior League.

9. Never chew gum in public and never smoke on the street.

10. Buy low. Sell high.

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