Wednesday, February 17, 2010

In Which Jake The Bachelor Scores Three Out of Five

I had so much fun with this post that I wanted to do it again – with the opposite perspective. So I took a totally random non-scientific poll of girls to find out: What Are The Top Five Most Offensive Man Fashions?


5. Flat billed hats


Only ok if you are T.I.

4. Short-sleeve button downs


I don’t care if it’s Prada, you’ll always look like Dwight.

3. Man jewels


Omg, no.

2. Wifebeaters

wifebeater-wonder kevin_federline_narrowweb__300x479,0

Either way, you lose.

[Ed note: I TOLD you guys I was justified in the wifebeater breakup!]

1. Puka shell necklaces


Oh man, did puka shell necklaces earn this. Somewhere, some Abercrombie dude is congratulating himself for single-handedly bringing the worst accessory ever to the mainstream. See? The picture just goes to show…even if you’re tan, handsome, and being shot by Bruce Weber on some awesome beach, you still look terrible.

Jake The Bachelor (who I am very, very mad at for his poor choices on the show) commits three out of these five crimes: puka shell necklaces, wifebeaters (while on motorcycle…eee), and other assorted man jewels including a neon orange velcro strap watch – and not in the cool, ironic way.


Other items that narrowly missed the top 5? Square toed shoes (yuck, yuck, YUCK, post TK on guys’ shoes), mandals, and cargo pants.

Guys, if you’re unsure of what to wear, let me just tell you – a tee, jeans, and sneaks are always good, as are button downs, blue blazers, jeans, and loafers. It’s really that simple.



Got it, Jake?


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