The Laws of the Tuxedo

Boyfriend and I fight constantly over tuxedos; we attend enough formal events a year to make this a real discussion. We have fought over color (no), vests (Lawdy, no), cummerbunds (yes). To put the issue to rest for us and for you and the other name on your invite, I found this reprint of a tuxedo guide from Bill of Rites for the American Man, via Social Primer.

oh haaaay.

Black Tie – A Proper Dinner Suit (Tuxedo)

BLACK JACKET WITH PEAK LAPELS 

– Shawl collar is an acceptable alternative but avoid the notch collar.

- A white dinner jacket is appropriate from Memorial Day through Labor Day or in a resort climate any time.

BLACK PANTS

- Black pants with black satin stripe.

DRESS SHIRT

- White Tennis collar shirt is my preference but Wing collar is certainly acceptable. Pleats versus placket front. 

Placket front reads more formal, but I do like both. I find placket stands up better to sweaty dance moves.

BOW TIE . Black tie means black tie. White tie is only ever worn with tails. Ever!

- Braces (suspenders) are black or white and make this suit so much more comfortable. You’re already strapped in like a baby seat, braces let you breathe.

CUMMERBUND

-non-negotiable. No to the vest, not the best look in spite of the current trend.

SHOES

-patent lace-ups (or highly-shined leather) or opera pumps (patent slippers). Or velvet slippers, if you’re daring.

CUFF LINKS

- Gold knots and studs or black and silver or silver-plate.  Try to avoid whimsy.

POCHETTE

- Pochette (pocket square) should be white silk, but I do like red sometimes.

SOCKS

- silk socks that go to the knee.  Never show a naked ankle in a Tuxedo. If you want to feel extra old school, go with the garters.

WATCH

- Never wear a writst watch with a Dinner Suit.

The Dark Suit Alternative 

You can get away with wearing a dark suit, preferably Navy, if you don’t want to spring for a Tuxedo.

SUIT

Black or Navy, trim cut, 2-button or 3-button, but if it’s a 3 button, DO NOT button the top button. If 2-button, leave the bottom button undone.

SHIRT

Crisp white Point collar shirt, NOT a button down. And by crisp, we mean starched and ironed. It can or cannot be French Cuff, depending on your style and if you own a pair of cuff links. 

CUFF LINKS

Do not make up cuff links. No paper clips, or binder clips (yes, I’ve seen both) or any other cute-sy to be clever contraption.

TIE

 If you’re going with a suit and not a Tuxedo, do not wear a bow tie. You should wear a long dark tie, preferably black if the suit is black, navy if the suit is navy.

POCHETTE

Here’s where you can have a little fun. Go crazy with color.

SOCKS

 should match the pant color.

SHOES

Should be black, preferably lace-ups, Never loafers.

BELT

 should match the shoes.

The Charleston Tuxedo - This should be your default uniform, day or night when not in a suit.

BLAZER

Navy, can be 2-button, 3-button or double-breasted. Gold or Brass buttons, coat of arms or insignia,  dark plastic or horn but avoid white or color here. It should fit you in the waist and at your shoulders. The sleeve should be tailored to the hinge of your wrist. There should be no hunchback lumps in the middle of your shoulder blades.

SHIRT
 should be white or pink point collar, (avoid Banker Blue as you sweat through blue). The shirt should be starched, ironed and clean. It should fit snug at the neck with no more than two-fingers space gap. The sleeve should show ½ inch beneath your jacket sleeve.

-TIE

 Bow tie or four in hand (long tie) – can be any color you want. Make it lively!

PANTS
 khaki’s or gray flannels (in colder temps) or crazy britches in mad color or embroidered icons (in warmer weather).

BELT

 Ribbon belt, needlepoint belt, or embroidered belt, even brown leather belt but definitely not black.

SHOES

 loafers or saddle shoes or bucks, no socks.

One Final Note

A man’s jacket is ALWAYS buttoned when he stands.

Guys: Dress Your Age, Not Your Shoe Size

 

I had to repost this from Put This On, a great blog about basically how not to dress like an idiot. Repeat offenders, please read. I’m talking to you, first year analyst with the ill-fitting suit. 

Yes, that’s a manponcho.

From Put This On:

Below are twenty-five pieces of vital information that every man over 14 in the Western world should know. Every man. No excuses. Seriously. Seriously.

1. Unbutton the bottom button of your jacket. It’s not intended to be buttoned.
2. Same goes for your vest.
3. Remove the tags on the sleeves of your jacket before you wear it.
4. Jackets sometimes come with white basting thread on their shoulders or holding closed their vents. Remove this thread before wearing the jacket.
5. Jacket pockets are intended to be opened. Use a small scissor or seam ripper.
6. More than three jacket buttons is never appropriate for anything.
7. On a three-button coat, buttoning the top button is optional, and some lapels are rolled so as to make the top button ornamental. In other words: if buttoning the top button seems wrong, it is.
8. Brown shoes, brown belt. Black shoes, black belt.
9. Belt or suspenders. Never belt and suspenders.
10. Your jacket sleeve should be short enough to show some shirt cuff - about half an inch. 
11. Your pants should end at your shoes without puddling. A slight or half break means that there is one modest inflection point in the front crease. If your pants break both front and back or if they break on the sides, they’re too long.
12. Your coat should follow and flatter the lines of your upper body, not pool around them. You should be able to slip a hand in to get to your inside breast pocket, but if the jacket’s closed and you can pound your heart with your fist, it’s too big.
13. When you buy a suit or sportcoat, it should be altered to fit by a tailor. This will cost between $25 and $100.
14. Your tie should reach your belt line - it shouldn’t end above your belt or below it.
15. Your tie knot should have a dimple.
16. Only wear a tie if you’re also wearing a suit or sportcoat (or, very casually, a sweater). Shirt, tie and no jacket is the wedding uniform of a nine-year-old.
17. The only men who should wear black suits during the day are priests, undertakers, secret agents, funerals attendees and yokels.
18. Cell phone holsters are horrible.
19. So are square-toed shoes.
20. Never wear visible socks with shorts.
21. Or any socks with sandals.
22. If your shirt is tucked in, you should be wearing a belt (or suspenders, if you’re wearing a jacket as well, or your trousers should have side adjusters and no belt loops).
23. Flip flops are great for the pool and the beach and not great for anything else. (Some say this is a matter of taste. We agree. If you have any taste, you will only wear flip-flops at the beach or pool.)
24. Long ties are not appropriate with a tuxedo.  (Ed note: Ties and vests are disgusting. No girl likes it. Bowties, please. You know who you are.)
25. Never wear polyester outside of the gym or theme parties.

Guidelines for A Man’s Closet

Again, from the Art of Manliness, a great and comprehensive article that I could write no better myself. Bravo Antonio!

The Constant Professional’s Wardrobe

Written by Antonio Centeno President, A Tailored Suit

You wear a suit Monday through Friday, often find you are having dinner with clients, and even on the weekends dress well as you might run into colleagues and clients out on the town.  Your image is tied closely to the reputation you have carefully crafted over the years – a man who pays attention to the details and can be trusted to handle others people’s affairs with professionalism.

Items that should be in the Constant Professional’s wardrobe:

• 6+ Suits
• 3+ Pair Dress Shoes
• 2 Pair Casual Leather Shoes
• Belts that match above shoes
• 15+ Dress Shirts
• 15+ Ties
• 1 Pair jeans that fit – no holes
• 4 Pair Slacks, Dark & Light
• 4+ Button-up collared sport shirts
• 2+ Solid Polo Shirts
• 5+ Sweaters
• 10+ Undershirts V-neck
• 2+ Sports Jackets
• 1 Navy Blazer
• 10+ Pocket Squares
• 2 Simple Dress Watches
• 1 Overcoat
• 1 Pair Leather Gloves
• 1 Trenchcoat
• 1 Hat
• Presentable Athletic Clothing
• Collar Stays, Cuff Links

Items that would be helpful for the Constant Professional to have:

• Full black tie ensemble – A onetime investment enables you to have a perfect fitting and better quality tuxedo that has paid for itself after 5 wearings.

 

The Business Owner’s Wardrobe

You occasionally wear a suit when meeting with clients or investors but in the confines of your office you are more casual while still maintaining a level of professionalism around your employees.  In the evenings with friends and family you are much more relaxed, and even if you head to the office Saturday morning, you’re going in jeans and a polo.

Items that should be in the Business Owner’s wardrobe:

• 1+ Suits
• 1+ Pair Dress Shoes
• 2 Pair Casual Leather Shoes
• Belts that match above shoes
• 10+ Dress Shirts
• 3+ Ties
• 2 Pairs of well-fitting Jeans
• 5 Pair Slacks, Dark & Light
• 5+ Button-up collared sport shirts
• 5 Solid Polo Shirts
• 5 Sweaters
• 10+ Undershirts V-neck
• 2+ Sports Jackets
• 1 Simple Dress Watch

Items that would be helpful to have:

• 1 Navy Blazer
• 5+ Pocket Squares
• 1 Overcoat
• 1 Pair Leather Gloves
• 1 Trenchcoat
• 1 Hat
• Collar Stays, Cuff Links

The Uniform Man

You have a specific uniform you wear that is required by the nature of your work.  The only time you need personal clothing is when you have time off in the evenings and your weekends.  You wear a suit rarely, but when you do you like to look sharp as being a man of detail you pay attention to the small things.

Items that should be in the Uniform Man’s wardrobe:

• 1 Suit
• 1 Pair Dress Shoes
• 1+ Pair Casual Leather Shoes
• Belts that match above shoes
• 4+ Dress Shirts
• 3+ Ties
• 2 Pairs of well-fitting Jeans
• 2 Pair Slacks, Dark & Light
• 2+ Button-up collared sport shirts
• 3 Solid Polo Shirts
• 3 Sweaters
• 5+ Undershirts
• 1 Sports Jacket
• 1 Simple Dress Watch

Items that would be helpful to have

• 1 Navy Blazer
• 3+ pocket squares
• 1 Overcoat
• 1 Pair Leather Gloves
• 1 Hat
• Collar Stays, Cuff Links

The Casual Creative’s Wardrobe

You work in an environment in which creativity is valued and conformity is dreaded.  Although you have some colleagues that dress in the clothing they slept in, you realize that dressing up a notch does not mean you are losing yourself as an individual.  Rather it gives you a chance to better express it without compromising your chance for opportunity.

Items that should be in the Casual Creative’s Wardrobe:

• 1 Suit & 2 Ties (Just in case!)
• 1 Pair Dress Shoes
• 2 Pair Casual Leather Shoes (Suede or Saddle Shoes)
• Belts that match above shoes
• 10+ Dress Shirts (tailored, contrast stitching, unique fabrics)
• 4 Pairs of well-fitting Jeans
• 2 Pair Slacks, Dark & Light
• 6+ Button-up collared sport shirts
• 2 Solid Polo Shirts
• 6 Sweaters
• 10+ Undershirts
• 1+ Sports Jacket – unique style or fabric
• 1 Simple Watch
• 5+ Pocket Squares
• 1 Overcoat (Aim for a Unique Fabric)

Items that would be helpful to have

• 2 Vests – possibly wear in lieu of a jacket
• 1 pair Leather Gloves
• 1 Hat
• Collar Stays, Cuff Links

5 Shoes Every Guy Should Own

Glad to know I am getting lots of male readers – thanks guys for taking an interest in what I have to say! I’ve become addicted lately to blogs geared towards Southern Gentlemen (and those that are like them) and have lots and lots to share with you.

Prepidemic, an online magazine from three Princeton guys, rocks my world. It is helping me in my quest to make over the men of America one pair of skinny jeans at a time. (Although, in fairness, if you’re reading this, you’re probably not wearing skinny jeans. You’d know better.)

Onward to the five shoes every man should own per Prepidemic, with a little bit of alteration on my part when it comes to seasonal shoes.

 

Brown Wing Tip

Ferragamo, $950 available at Nordstrom

Cole Haan, $398 available at Zappos

 

Black Dress Shoe

Barney’s private label, $375 available at Barney’s

 

Allen Edmonds Park Avenue, $325 available at Zappos

Loafer

Tod’s driving loafer, $395 available at Neiman Marcus

Gucci horsebit loafer, $495 available at Saks

 

 

Bass Weejuns, $129 available at Bass Shoes

Seasonal shoes: Rainbows and boat shoes/desert boots and cowboy boots

Ariat cowboy boots, $129 available at Shepler’s

 

The original Clarks desert boot, $90 available at Piperlime

Sperry Topsider boat shoes, $70 available at Sperry Topsider

Rainbow sandals, $46 available at Rainbow Sandals

 

Sneakers

 

New Balance M574’s, $65.99 available at Amazon

Any points of contention? Any categories you’d add? Let me know in the comments!

I’m Majorly Crushing On….

The Art of Manliness, still, but also A Tailored Suit – the most in-depth, amazing articles on how to dress like a gentleman, covering topics from How To Dress For an MBA Interview (different from Law School Interview), Men’s Suits: Exploring Color, How To Choose a Tailor, and Matching a Tie.

 

Seriously, love.

 

Here’s an excerpt from a recent article written by A Tailored Suit via The Art of Manliness – enjoy, guys!

Hot Weather Dressing General Guidelines – Clean, Light, and Understated

These three words sum up how a sharp dressed man clothes himself during the summer months.

Clean – A gentleman is showered, well-groomed, and his clothing is free from stains.  He realizes that although he may perspire, he does not have to smell nor look like he stepped out of a sauna.  If you need to shower twice a day, then do so.  Use antiperspirant deodorant, and consider soaps with menthol that will help cool your body.  A sharp dressed man never wears stained clothing, even if he believes others won’t notice.  His hair is washed and its ends cut regularly, with excess hair on the back of the neck trimmed.  Invest in a pair of nose hair clippers (which can be used on the ears as well), opt for a close shave, and treat your skin to lotions that improve health and appearance.  Need more guidance here?  Visit Tyler Sims at ForeMan; his website’s grooming guide is full of great info that answers dozens of questions.

Light – Wear light colored clothing and select fabrics made with breathable weaves and natural fibers such as cotton, linen, or tropical weight wool (perfect for summer’s formal events).  Looser fits facilitate airflow, but do not take this to mean you should wear a full size (or three) larger than what your body size calls for. Remember that dark colors do not reflect light but rather absorb it and all other factors being constant, are thus hotter.  On a sunny day, a white long sleeve button-down cotton shirt will be much cooler than a black polyester T-shirt.

Understated – A gentleman wears quality garments that have cuts and patterns that compliment his figure and attitude – his clothing never detracts from the ladies in his company.  He pays attention to unstated dress codes, plans accordingly, and shows up in accordance so that he can enjoy the companionship of those around him. If you need to bring a change of clothing, do so; try not to wear your swimming trunks into the evening festivities (unless they are in the water!).  Be remembered for your friendly conversation, not for being the over-dressed peacock or under-dressed ruffian.

Guys: Hear This Out

On the heels of the men’s shows in Milan, WWD polled the experts on what not to wear, and the results are wholly unsurprising. It’s nice to hear, though, that menswear designers (all male themselves) , are as heavily against shopping at Express men or Ed Hardy as I am. Read on for their well-respected professional opinions.

 

(this dude is h-o-t. via Tommy Ton for GQ)

Giorgio Armani: “Jackets are the backbone of men’s wear, so when you buy one, make sure it fits properly. Just because it is a piece of tailoring doesn’t mean it is a magic wand. A badly fitting jacket—however expensive—will look awkward.”

Dean and Dan Caten, Dsquared: “Buying a suit—and thinking it is a tracksuit! A suit is to be tailored, sharp and smart, not big enough to do cartwheels in.”

Tom Ford: “Button your jacket. It takes 20 pounds off your silhouette.”

John Varvatos: “Square-toed shoes. They are an outdated style that can instantly make any man look bad.…I can’t tell you the number of women who have told me that a man wearing square-toed shoes may have just lost himself a second date. Shallow? Maybe. True? Definitely.” {editor’s note: oh em gee, please no!!! You will lose that date! We look down first.}

Brunello Cucinelli: “I prefer a man not to wear bracelets or rings. As a general rule, simplicity is always best.”

Viktor & Rolf: “Men traveling with matching designer luggage—that just ain’t right.”

Social Primer: Man walks on the outside

From my favorite guys over at Social Primer, this on men walking on the outside:

There are few things that get under my skin more than witnessing a man walking with a woman on the sidewalk and the man not knowing or caring where he belongs. A man, or should I say, a gentle man,  always walks on the street or curb side of the sidewalk in America (the Euro tradition states that a man walks on a woman’s left, which can be curb side or building side.) I wonder that some men are confused because they have read or heard the opposing opinion that a gentleman walks on the building side. This alternate opinion is based on the notion that in the case that a flower pot or soup can should fall from a ledge or an open window and plunk his lady friend on the head, the gentleman would be there to catch said pot or at least absorb the brunt of the collision with his own thicker skull. Then the argument for the curbside is that a woman is protected from a wet or muddy splash caused by a passing car. As for for the transgressions against this rule, I suspect the violators don’t know any better and saunter on in oblivious bliss.

Let us make this clear once and for all. A gentleman walks on the curb side of the sidewalk when walking with a woman. Basta. Of course, SP understands that this can be a bit awkward when walking in a city such as New York, Boston, Charleston or San Francisco when a couple may encounter many turns and street crossings in a relatively short jaunt. In fact, I once had a lady friend say to me, “I know you are well-mannered and your intentions are gallant, but you are annoying the hell out me with all this switching from side to side.” In this case I acknowledged (to myself) my mistake for making my action so ostentatious and vowed (to myself) to make my transitions smoother in the future. But the truth is, I can not enjoy the walk if I am not on the curb. It’s so ingrained that it’s damn near obsessive. Or is it compulsive? Whatever it is, I am content in my place and confident the majority of women appreciate the gesture.

Gentlemen make me swoon, what can I say.

Getting Over Your Glory Days

I couldn’t have said this any better myself, so I’m letting the lovelies over at The Art of Manliness tell you. I joke that I’m in my 8th year of college all the time, but things are better now than 4 years ago and I wouldn’t want anything to change. Innsbruck, Georgia/Florida, socials, formals, band parties – none of it would be as it was then now. So it’s with a bittersweetness that I post this very grown up post about “Getting Over Your Glory Days” – the good news is, we’ll always have memories and PICTURES! (thanks, 20 lb scrapbooks!)

 

Getting Over Your Glory Days

by Brett & Kate McKay

Chapel Hill, 1956 slumber party

The acrimonious late-night showdown between Jay Leno and Conan was surely about a lot of things. Money, ratings, television. But it was also about a man who couldn’t get over his glory days. Who decided to step down, but then missed his old life and was desperate to return to it.

It’s happened before to high-profile men-Brett Favre tearfully said goodbye to football and then hello and then goodbye and then hello again.

Sometimes trying to get back to your glory days actually works. Mr. Favre had a great season this year. But typically it ends up hurting the piner and those left in his wake (sorry, Coco).

While most of us will never play professional football or host a late-night talk show, we all can struggle from time to time with wanting to return to our “glory days” and missing some bygone period in our lives. This can hit in middle-age and inspire a man to buy a sports car and ditch his wife for a young babe. But it can also happen at the end of your twenties when you’re trying to adjust to the working life and missing your college years.

It’s hard not to think back to high school and college with real fondness. It was indeed a glorious time. No real responsibilities besides studying and working at a pizza place. Sleeping in, playing sports, driving around with your friends, and hanging out at parties. You felt profoundly free. The world was your oyster, and the possibilities for your life seemed endless. What were you going to make of your life? Who would you be spending it with? What were you going to do when you “grew up?”

These days you have a pretty good idea of the answers to those question. You’re married to Susan, have a job as a financial planner, and live in Dallas. Life is good, but sometimes you think back to the student life and would give anything to get back there. You wax nostalgic until you’re in a deep funk and sit on your porch sipping on a brewski and reminiscing about the good old days. Pretty soon you’re surfing the internet for a time machine.

A little nostalgia for another time period in history can be a positive thing, but too much nostalgia for another time in your life can rob you of satisfaction and happiness in this one. How do you get over your glory days and fully embrace the life you currently lead?

Create new firsts. When people over the age of 35 are asked to recall the most vivid or most important events of their life, they disproportionately remember things that happened between ages 15 and 25. This association is natural-it’s the time of our lives when we’re making big decisions about our identities and the direction our lives are going to take.

It’s also a time where we experience a myraid of “firsts.” First kiss, first date, first time away from home, first time outside the country, first sex, first love, first college class and so on. Any kind of first is an exciting, heady experience. Firsts make you feel alive.

If you’re feeling stuck in your life and longing for the past, maybe it’s time to experience some new firsts. Certainly, a lot of the big ones have already been notched, but there are always new things to go after. First trip to Asia, first time surfing, first marathon, first time riding a motorcycle, first painting class. Keep filling your life with new, soul-expanding adventures.

Focus on a new goal. Sometimes our funk is not so much for lost youth, but simply the let down we experience after we achieve one of our major life goals. Psychologists have shown that we actually get more pleasure and satisfaction on the journey to a goal than we do when we finally attain it. We’re happy for a bit, and then we think, “Okay, what now?” Olympic athletes and astronauts often struggle with depression after they win a medal or make it to space. After you’ve reached such a pinnacle in your life, what can you possibly do for your next act?

The obvious answer of course is to create a new goal. Without goals your life will lack direction and purpose. The goal doesn’t have to be as grandiose as the one you’ve already attained, it just has to be something that will keep you busy and give you something to focus your life around.

Let go of false scenarios. Oftentimes when we pine for the good old days of our life, we find ourselves somewhat unconsciously dreaming of a false scenario. We want to get the freedom of our youth back. But if we were asked to give up our wife and kids we wouldn’t have any desire to do so. What we really want is to have that freedom back and keep our families. But of course that’s not possible.

Everything in life involves trade-offs. The single life is great, but there are definitely times when you’re lonely and sitting at home wishing you had somebody, and times where you’re sick of playing games with women and just want to find the one. You can’t get rid of those negatives without being in a committed relationship.

Acknowledge trade-offs, be grateful for the benefits of what you have, and don’t torture yourself with impossible scenarios.

Move on and out. In high school I did pretty well for myself. I was a football player, student council president, homecoming king, and voted Mr. Edmond North High School. I was never cocky and never ran with the popular kids, but when I graduated I thought I was a pretty cool guy.

Then I spent two years working in Tijuana, Mexico as a missionary. Nobody knew what a homecoming king was or what the Mr. ENHS title was, and they didn’t give a crap about any of it. I didn’t know a single soul, and they didn’t know me from Steve. My high school exploits quickly seemed totally unimportant, and I was humbled in a hurry.

If you’re still living in the town you grew up in or the town you went to college in, and you still think a lot about the past, it may be time to start a new life for yourself somewhere else, somewhere where you don’t keep running into people who still remember you from way back when and want to spend their time reminiscing about the good old days.

Recapture the salient qualities of the time that you miss. It’s impossible to recreate the past. You’re never going to play varsity baseball again, and hold hands with your crush at the movies, and hear your name called as prom king.

But while you can’t recapture these experiences whole hog, you can work on adding the most salient qualities about what you used to love back into your life. Even though it will never be the same, that doesn’t mean you should give up on trying to recapture some of the elements that used to lend some magic to your life.

If you miss playing high school sports, a lot of what you’re missing is the feeling of competition among men. Join a intramural team for adults in your town.

If you’re missing the camaraderie you used to feel with your frat brothers, a big part of what you’re missing is having strong male friendships. Join a lodge of Freemasons.

If you’re missing the warm fuzzies you used to get when dating, start romancing your wife with novel dates. Studies have shown that going on unique and interesting dates with your spouse can bring back the old butterflies you used to feel for each other.

Embrace different kinds of satisfaction. Being young is definitely awesome. The freedom and fun will be forever unmatched. But the key to growing up is being able to embrace new kinds of satisfactions in your life. Having a lot of freedom is certainly one of the pleasures in life, but it’s not the only one.

There is incredible satisfaction in becoming a husband and a father. In molding and shaping your children. There is satisfaction in becoming a mentor to young men. In finding success in your career. In making an impact on the world. In being in control of your life. In being wiser. There is pleasure in the passion of new love, but there is pleasure in long-term companionate love as well.

When all you think about is what you miss about your former life, you can miss out on the joy to be found  in your current one.

Embrace the idea of “seasons” in life. Some people prefer life in places like California, places that are always fairly temperate but lack distinct seasons. But I’ve always been a seasons guy. I like watching the world change around me, seeing how different the very same place can look in each season, and enjoying the distinct activities and weather each season brings. Each season, although different, has its own charm.

For example in Vermont, summer is a glorious time. The days are warm but not scorching, and the nights are cool. You can spend your time wandering through the woods, eating maple cremees, and floating down picturesque rivers.

Of course, the winter is another story. Cold, dark and snowy, it keeps the state from being overrun with new residents who fall in love with the area in the summer and fall. Winter season stretches on for half the year and many people, even those who’ve been there their whole lives find it depressing. The winter really brings them down; all they can think about is the coming spring.

My uncle-in-law has lived in Vermont for decades, and I asked him how he stands the winters. He said they used to bother him, but he started getting right out into it-snowshoeing and skiing every day-and now the winters don’t faze him at all. I talked to another Vermonter who said that winter was her favorite season, because she loved to ski more than anything.

So where am I going with this? Well our life is broken into seasons. Spring, then summer, then fall, then a long winter. During the winter of our lives things are certainly not as carefree as they once were, but we can find the things about this period of our journey that are unique and fully embrace them.

Words To Live By

I came across this list of A College Man’s Guide to Life: Advice to School-Boy Self on Ivy-Style and couldn’t resist sharing some of the best ones with you. College seems so far in the past – but I’m glad I know now what I didn’t know then.

Fake it til you make it. No one will know the difference.

Try not to be such an asshole.

Step up to the plate and swing for the fences.

She likes you; ask her out.

You won’t be in love for real until you’re at least 30. Date as many girls as you can without being a jerk.

Live with purpose. A laissez-faire mentality only goes so far.

Firm handshake, eye contact, smile.

Stay calm, it all works out in the end. And pay attention in French class.

These are the best years of your life. Behave accordingly.

Get a haircut.

It is who you know. Make a good first impression.

 

Aren’t those fantastic? The last one is so crucially important. Just in case you (guys or gals) are looking to interview, here are tips for making a great first impression:

 

Do your research.

Have clean shoes, clothes pressed, nails and hair neat.

Remove distracting jewelry.

Have a clean copy of your resume.

Know how long it will take you to get to the interview and how to get there ahead of time.

Pronounce all names correctly.

Have a working pen and notebook in case you need it.

Ladies, your purse should only contain the neccessities so you aren’t rifiling through your bag. Have a compact and lipstick for touch-ups.

Don’t carry flashy bags – if they’re a stylish person, they’ll recognize quiet elegance over loud logos.

Greet potential employers with a firm handshake, look them in the eye, enunciate your words, and SMILE!

Good luck mes amis! xx

In Which Jake The Bachelor Scores Three Out of Five

I had so much fun with this post that I wanted to do it again – with the opposite perspective. So I took a totally random non-scientific poll of girls to find out: What Are The Top Five Most Offensive Man Fashions?

 

5. Flat billed hats

 

Only ok if you are T.I.

4. Short-sleeve button downs

 

I don’t care if it’s Prada, you’ll always look like Dwight.

3. Man jewels

Omg, no.

2. Wifebeaters

Either way, you lose.

[Ed note: I TOLD you guys I was justified in the wifebeater breakup!]

1. Puka shell necklaces

Oh man, did puka shell necklaces earn this. Somewhere, some Abercrombie dude is congratulating himself for single-handedly bringing the worst accessory ever to the mainstream. See? The picture just goes to show…even if you’re tan, handsome, and being shot by Bruce Weber on some awesome beach, you still look terrible.

Jake The Bachelor (who I am very, very mad at for his poor choices on the show) commits three out of these five crimes: puka shell necklaces, wifebeaters (while on motorcycle…eee), and other assorted man jewels including a neon orange velcro strap watch – and not in the cool, ironic way.

 

Other items that narrowly missed the top 5? Square toed shoes (yuck, yuck, YUCK, post TK on guys’ shoes), mandals, and cargo pants.

Guys, if you’re unsure of what to wear, let me just tell you – a tee, jeans, and sneaks are always good, as are button downs, blue blazers, jeans, and loafers. It’s really that simple.

 

 

Got it, Jake?

 

Leslie Mann for Band of Outsiders

via Unabashedly Prep

Adventures in Red: A Social Experiment

So, last weekend I decided to try a little experiment. I never wear red because I feel like it is unflattering to me and makes me look like I'm auditioning to be a member of the Versace family. And red is a VERY tricky color to pull off – but a color that guys supposedly are drawn to, according to countless women's magazines. I roll my eyes at this, but was secretly curious so I decided to wear a red racerback zip tank out on Saturday night.

Me, Hilary, you know, kind of the same thing.

Images via shareapic.net

And what do you know…it was like moths to a flame. All moths but the one I really wanted (boo), but it was almost as if my guy friends were suddenly under a spell! Seriously. They were bringing me beers without really quite knowing why they all of a sudden wanted to. I felt powerful and sexy and confident…too bad the night didn’t end up going my way!

Hopefully you’ll have some more luck with these tips on how to wear red.

Keep it simple. Red ruffles, red flowers, red beading, rhinestones – you don’t want any of it. Keep the shape streamlined so you avoid looking like a Senorita or a Prom Queen. Or a hooker, even though hooker is soo in this season. This might be best as a halter, a one-shoulder, a racerback, or strapless depending on your body type. 

yikes. and work it, girl.  convertible dress, victoria’s secret $88

Find the right red for you. Tomato, persimmon, vermilion, coral, maroon, and berry don’t suit me – I’m more of a vampy and pure retro red. Find a red that works for you in the cut you need. This will probably prove to be much harder than you think, but stick with it. The results were so tangible and quantifiable and a major self-esteem booster!

bad red, good red.

A few red items from the shopping sphere:

 

Urban Outfitters, $48

Alloy, $36.90

 Lulu*s, $33

DVF dress, $345

And the red master, M. Valentino…that little orange man has always known red is what makes women look best. This, from his finale show, Spring 2008 Couture.

kiss kiss

A Nice Little Getaway in Alphabet City

Just when I thought there were no more surprise spaces left in New York, this adorable little place called Elsa was sprung on me. Deep down in Alphabet City is a tiny little bar room with enough charm to fill the entire place, with an unpretentious hipster crowd, if such a thing exists- yummy drinks, and lots and lots of candles.

It fronts as a tailoring shop by day (yeah, yeah, we’ve seen this before) and a bar by night, but it was nice to be in a Milk & Honey type place without being at, well, Milk & Honey. Think of it as the East Village version of Little Branch – just you, him, and the cocktails, at half the price, half the hassle, and twice the loveliness.

Elsa is located at 217 E Third St in the East Village.